- Making rape jokes. Examples: ‘rape is just a struggle snuggle’ or ‘it’s not rape if you say surprise first’ or ‘if you rape a prostitute, is it rape or shoplifting’ or ANY OTHER RAPE JOKE.
- Calling situations that are nothing like rape rape. Examples: ‘that math test totally raped my ass’ or ‘the IRS really raped me this year’ or ‘i would absolutely rape something to eat right now’.
- Questioning survivors. Examples: ‘are you sure you didn’t just change your mind in the morning?’ or ‘I don’t think it’s rape if he’s your boyfriend’ or ‘are you just saying that so you won’t be called a slut?’
- Talking about rape as a positive. Example: ‘I would love to get raped by a hot girl’ or ‘I wish [insert attractive female celebrity here] would rape me’,
- Pantomiming rape. For some reason, the guys at my school think it is the absolute height of humor to sneak up on each other and simulate humping one another while yelling ‘rape!’. PRO TIP: It isn’t funny at all and it makes you look like a complete and total asshole.
- Calling all physical contact rape. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen (usually, but not always) guys at my school engage in minor physical contact like accidentally bumping someone in the hallway or seen two of them wrestling, and one or both will start laughing and screaming “RAPE! RAPE! HE’S RAPING ME!”
This is obviously a very incomplete list, so please feel free to add your own.
PS- If you do any of this stuff, you are an asshole and you need to stop right now
The swinging pendulum of sexism arrives! Ladies, Men can get raped too. Remember that.
Just to put some perspective in this for those people who may be confused at how a guy can get a boner but not really be sexually charged, so to speak…
Ladies, you know how your nipples get hard for seemingly no reason (sans stepping into a cold room anyway)? You go to put on a shirt and your nipples are poking out like they haven’t seen daylight in over 40 years? Or you brush them up against something and BAMMO, nipple town? Or someone slaps you in the tits and they’re standing full mister?
You get where I’m going with this? Your sexual organs are built to respond to stimulus, be it one you personally find sexually gratifying or not. Saying a dude who gets a boner while he’s otherwise not consenting to sex is lying about the fact would be like saying any girl who gets wet while getting raped is actually enjoying it/wants it.
so… you know… dont be stupid about this people. guys can get raped too and girls can most definitely be the fuckin perps.
People who think men don’t get raped are just as bad as the people who think men can’t control their urges to rape women. It happens less often, but it still happens, and it’s just as traumatizing for the male victim. You can’t just disregard a victim based on their gender.
Can we also include that females can rape other females and males can rape other males too?
FINALLY. I saw the Don’t Be That Guy posts the other day and I was like ok but how’s about Don’t Be That Girl posts too? Now it’s here.
Sorry bout ya, ass-hats.
I want to reblog this a million times and hand paint it on the front of my apartment
“Rep. Todd Akin, your comments about survivors of rape are shocking and offensive. Anyone who doesn’t understand basic biology and wants to create more barriers for rape survivors seeking justice does not belong in the United States Congress. You must resign right away.” ~ Kat Barr
Everyone in America should know that an actual candidate for U.S. Senate said this about women who are raped.
Please share this.
What the uterus can just magically tell that adequate consent wasn’t involved?
I’m sorry this angers me greatly
*facepalm* SEMEN IS SEMEN. It makes babies. Thank you 4th grade health class that most republicans apparently skipped.
Please get me off this crazy thing.
Please get me off this crazy thing.
PLEASE GET ME OFF THIS
shoot me in the face
Yeah, the Sanctity of Life Act was really messed up. Guess who fought for the bill’s absolute restriction on abortion after conception or CLONING? The King of Freedom: Ron Paul. Poor decisions by Pauls all around.
Apologies in advance for the really serious post, but I think I’ve actually made my point pretty well in the text below and it’d mean a lot to me if you’d read it. Trigger warning for rape and sexual violence.
I want to prove two things:
- Rape is a unique crime not comparable to being robbed or murdered.
- The unique nature of rape makes rape jokes especially heinous.
This post is a sort-of response to a question I got this morning.
Rape is a unique crime.
Rape is not like murder or being robbed, rape is a type of torture - an exceptionally malicious act that has, at its core, no purpose except to inflict exceptional pain on you. It’s an act where the perpetrator not only wants to hurt you in a uniquely personal way, but enjoys the violation. Rape is so much more than just the act of sex - it destroys your bodily and sexual autonomy.
To rape is not merely to deny someone’s will, but to deny them their very personhood. The humiliation and shame experienced by rape victims is completely unique; they experience complete subjugation and the intimate loss of control of their own bodies.
A few weeks ago, I was mugged at gunpoint on North Carolina Ave. in Southeast DC. Now, if I’m ever back there, I’ll be much more apprehensive of my safety than I would’ve been before. This is pretty common - when you experience a violation, the area of the violation no longer feels safe. With rape, the area of violation is your own body.
Jokes about rape are uniquely horrible.
A recent joke that “comedian” Daniel Tosh made about how funny it would be if a girl was raped created a little bit of an internet shitstorm, forcing him to semi-apologize on Twitter. He followed up his apology with this Tweet:
(Personally, I find dead baby jokes a little bit gross.) “How do you get 10 babies into a jar? Blender. How do you get them out? Nachos.” Dead baby jokes, though, operate on in an area entirely removed from reality - nobody who tells that joke is actually contemplating using a baby as hummus, and functionally 0% of people know anyone who’s ever thought about or attempted to eat a pulverized baby.
Compare that to the prevalence of rape in the status quo. It’s estimated that 1 in 3 women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. Now, if 1 in 3 babies was killed and eaten with tortilla chips, people would think of it not as a joke, but as a horribly serious reality.
Murder jokes are less heinous for a similar reason. The national homicide rate is 4.8 per 100,000 people, meaning that the chance a given person hearing a murder joke will actually be killed is 00.0048%. The chance that you’ll actually trigger a terrible flashback from someone who’s been nearly murdered is damn low.
What really makes the difference between murder jokes and rape jokes, though, is not just the statistics. Murder is something that is taken extremely seriously in our society. Report rates are pretty high, and victims of attempted murder don’t need to worry that they’ll be accused of “asking for it” or being told that what happened to them isn’t a big deal. To be clear, I’m not justifying jokes about homicide.
Jokes about rape serve to make rape less serious. People who enjoy rape jokes commonly want to be told that rape isn’t a big deal, that it’s just sex, and that other people think so, too. A study of unreported acquaintance rapists done by Hinck and Thomas in 1999 found that “These individuals’ propensity to rape was significantly related not only to their acceptance of rape myths and of traditional ideas about male and female sexuality, but also to their belief that male sexual aggression is normal.”
That doesn’t mean that anyone who’s ever laughed at a rape joke is a future rapist. What it does mean is that these jokes provide the ammunition that these people need to justify themselves and think, “Hey, rape is not that big of a deal. It’s funny. Look, they all think so, too.”
Furthermore, the fact that rape isn’t taken seriously or that the blame is attributed to the woman keeps more women from coming forward, seeking justice for themselves, or even from getting counseling. After all, if rape isn’t that big of a deal, and if it was possibly their fault, there’s really no point. Every time a rape victim hears a rape joke, not only can the victim flash back to the rape and relive the experience in excruciating detail, but the victim also has to experience that mindfuck with the invalidation of suffering that comes with the levity of a joke.
To sum up:
- Rape is a type of torture, and rape victims experience severe psychological trauma that goes well beyond the physical damage.
- The prevalence of sexual assault makes it much more likely that either a rapist or a rape victim will hear a given joke about rape.
- Rape jokes perpetuate our society’s fucked up belief that rape isn’t serious.
- Rape jokes empower would-be rapists.
- Rape jokes further harm the victims of rape.